Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
