The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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