good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
