Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize