Whod you bang
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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