i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
