I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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