Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
