Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
