drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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