My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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