You can't special order awesome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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