I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
