His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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