i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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