I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
