You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
