How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
