Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
