two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
