you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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