My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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