what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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