She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
