I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
