My Higher Power is John Stamos
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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