why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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