I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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