After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
