I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
