i think i have two assholes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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