Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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