So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
