Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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