So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
