Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
