So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
