capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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