you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
