She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
