I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
