My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
bring money and cleavage
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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