My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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