May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize