the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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