Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
