I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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