awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
