The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
