I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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