I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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