I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
