Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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