Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
