Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
