but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
