You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize