I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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